


Lament for Archangel

by Stormrunner



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-04 13:42:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormrunner/pseuds/Stormrunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time she sees his death it is harder then the last.<br/>When all hope is lost, what if you got another chance?<br/>Shepard is about to find out the hard way.</p><p>Depictions of Violence, death and a small amount of sex at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They always tell you the first time is the hardest, and that it becomes easier with time.

They also say it's easy to know if you are alive.

They were never so wrong.

The first time she went after the Krogan Warlord after getting her Spectre status reinstated and picking up the Thief at the Citadel. At the time it had made sense, he might have data on the Collectors. It was a long shot, but it was a shot she was willing to take – the more info they had for Mordin Solus the better.

Shepard had been in contact with the salarian via messages already. He was dealing with a plague and wanted to find and distribute a cure before they picked him up. It was all the same to Shepard, the two dossiers on Omega could take care of themselves. Besides, this Archangel fellow might prove harder to recruit since he had a team of his own.

Grunt was not what she was after, but if he was put in his place properly he was a good combatant. Over time she felt she was becoming like an older sister to the young krogan. The longer he was with her, the more he seemed to look up to her and her fighting style.

After another correspondence with Mordin to see if he was ready for pick up, Shepard headed to Purgatory. Jack was definitely different with her overcharged Biotics, lack of trust, and her endless energy. Energy Shepard could put to use in the fight to come. It was just a matter of putting Jack in her place, or killing her with kindness.

Once on Omega and dealing with Aria, Shepard went straight to Mordin's clinic. She would need to distribute the cure for him since the clinic was packed with plague victims, and to top it off the vorcha decided to cut the power to the Environmental controls after she arrived. At least she had found out it was the Collectors that created the plague and not humans.

Then came the time to go after the infamous Archangel. Aria had told her about the vigilante, and what he was doing to “clean up” Omega. Shepard replied how she already liked the guy, but then asari scoffed and said she was too late, and that Archangel and his gang had died a few months back. “However, feel free to go identify them. I'm sure their families would like some closure, and I'm sure you would be the one to give it to them.”

Shepard had thought about leaving Omega then, but Aria had been right. She brought Grunt and Modin with her to identify the bodies, and possibly give the victims some sort of burial.

The boulevard leading to Archangel's hideout was eerily quiet. Members of the mercenary groups lay where they died. The skeletal remains grinned up, and their uniforms were the only indication of whom they once worked for.

“Must be victims of Archangel. Not part of his gang. Perfect head shots. Very impressive.” Modin nodded at his observations.

“He and his group must be near or past the bridge.” Shepard indicated with her shotgun, not willing to bring it down. This place bothered her, and she wasn't sure why. “Come on.”

Once they reached the bridge, the destruction was more prominent. Scorch marks, spent heat sinks, and bullets that didn't make it to their target littered the ground. The bodies of freelancers were also scattered here and there, marked only by their own symbols and almost perfect kill shots.

Only one body stood out from the others, one of a turian in civilian clothing. Shepard had Mordin scan the body finding it belonged to one Lantar Sidonis.

“Could not be Archangel. No armor. No recent trauma to extremities. Only gun shot wound to back of head indicative of clean kill.” The salarian took a deep breath. “Maybe a hostage?”

“Not knowing how Archangel worked I wouldn't know. But if it was, it means he was drawn out before being killed. Might be prudent to wipe the mercenary groups off the face of Omega when we are done here.” Shepard scanned the area seeing if there were any other inconsistency in the bodies. “Let's go check out Archangel's base of operations.”

The top floor of the building had collapsed, burned and scorched. The team picked through the rubble finding nine bodies in body bags, protected from the elements. On a bed they found a datapad and the head of a batarian wrapped in plastic. The datapad stated that if he survived Archangel had planned to rip out Tarak's heart out for mutilating the man. The datapad also had a list of names with numbers next to them.

Identifying the bodies had been easy. Archangel had labeled each bag with numbers consisting with the ones on the datapad, and after identifying two to make sure the data matched there was no need to check anymore. Shepard sighed, “He must have cared deeply for his squad if he went through all this trouble in the middle of a firefight.”

“Possibly thought he would die, outcome likely. Outnumbered. Foolish, but commendable.” Mordin gestured. “Seems we will not find him here.”

“Let's check the lower levels.” Shepard was sure now the Sidonis fellow at the bridge had been a hostage now. If Archangel had held them off or ran, the mercenary leaders would have needed a different strategy. But, if that was the case, where was his body?

Finding nothing in the lower levels they headed back over the bridge, and that is when she saw it. The body of a turian, striped of armor and pulled apart at the shoulders and hip joints. It was headless.

Scanning the area she saw a pike with the turian's head on it. The head's plates were stripped back exposing the skull underneath, the spine still attached seemingly ripped out of the body. Mandibles and other places that would show the clan markings were removed, leaving Archangel's face as bare as he had come into the galaxy. Shepard turned away.

To the side was a pile of armor, on it was the symbol she had seen on the other members of his band of vigilantes. Near it was a Kuwashii visor. Not many turians had one, as they had to be custom fitted and made. In fact, she only knew one turian who had one. Garrus' had been customized by him, and he had told her how he had saved for it for months after he joined C-sec.

Shepard had a chill go down her spine, but ignored it. Garrus was missing, but this couldn't be him. She turned the visor over and noted the names carved into it in a mix of languages, including a dialect specific to Palavan and English. One name appeared burned out, but that wasn't what caught her eye. The handwriting, despite being carved was familiar. The neat turian letters, as well as the even neater English ones.

Shepard's ears grew hot as her pulsed pounded within them. She turned to Mordin. “Do you know who it is yet?”

The salarian shook his head. “No record of this turian in Omega databases.”

She felt sweat go down her back and it felt hard to breathe. Steadying her voice she said: “Have EDI check the databases at the Citadel.”

They had no vocal connection to the Normandy due to how low down in Omega they were. Mordin sent the message with his omni-tool. Her body tensed as a ping came though. 

Mordin seemed surprised. “Database has found a match.”

Shepard clutched the visor in one hand squeezing it. She wasn't sure she was able to hide the trepidation in her voice this time. “Who is it?”

“Very curious. Higher clan. Father well know Detective with....”

“Who is it Mordin?!” She hadn't meant to yell, but she was on edge. She needed conformation for what she knew, but didn't want to admit.”

Mordin looked at her his eyes in pity and not anger. It was then she realized his ramble had been to stall her, and possibly move her emotions to another outlet. Her knees shook and the visor shattered in her grasp. “I'm sorry Shepard. Turian is colleague from your fight with Saren. It is Garrus Vakarian.”

Shepard didn't remember falling to her knees, and barely registered Grunt asking her if she was alright. She felt the krogan pick her up at Mordin's request and the professor telling Grunt to bring her back to the Normandy. “No, Garrus! We need to get him down!” She struggled in Grunt's grasp, but he only held her tighter.

“Shepard, the turian is dead, weak. You are stronger then this,” Grunt gestured to Garrus' remains, “I've seen you fight!” 

Shepard headbutted the krogan. “Don't you dare say Garrus was weak! He was my friend, my clan!” She shed no tears, and instead growled in anger. Anger at Grunt for saying what he had, anger as the mercenaries for doing this to Garrus, and anger at Garrus for putting himself in this mess.

She felt a prick on the back of her neck. “Sorry Shepard. Need to sedate you. Triple dose. Orders from Ms. Lawson, you are in no condition to lead at this time. Emotional. Might now have concussion.” She glared at Mordin as her vision blurred.

“Screw you Mordin.”

Mordin again ordered Grunt back to the Normandy.  
As she faded into a dreamless sleep she prayed to whatever spirits or gods were out there to let this be a nightmare, or at least allow her to fix this.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard woke up in her bed on the Normandy in a cold sweat. Her alarm played a bright melody that she recalled changing once before. She picked the clock up angry at it for playing such a happy tune after what she had just witnessed. She started to chuck it at the wall when she noticed the date on it.

She blinked a few times, then rubbed her eyes again.

“EDI?”

“Yes, Shepard?”

“What is today's date?” When the AI repeated the date on the clock she frowned. “Is this some sort of sick joke?”

The AI sounded confused. “I can assure you commander I do not joke about such things.”

Shepard looked up and noticed her skylight was closed, meaning the ship was moving. She tried to remain calm, and tried not to give away anymore about how odd this was. “What is the ETA to our next destination?”

“We are currently ten hours twenty minutes from docking with the Citadel. Would you like me to notify Councilor Anderson of our arrival time?”

“Yes, please. Thank you EDI.”

“Do you need anything else Shepard?”

“No, that's all.”

“Logging you out.”

Shepard rubbed her eyes trying to absorb everything. Either she had a horrible nightmare about the past few months, she was going crazy, or she really had gone back in time to fix the situation with Garrus.

She was more inclined to think it was one of the first two until she got to the Citadel.

Kasumi had met her in the same spot, said the same things, made the same gestures. It was surreal. Shepard herself only remembered her previous conversations with the thief and repeated them as close as she could remember.

Even in Anderson's office the conversations were the same. Same irritating turian councilor with quotations around the word “reapers”, same questions to Anderson about the whereabouts of Ashley, and the same reasons for getting her Spectre status back.

This time around she still recruited Grunt first, he would be good against the mercs. She skipped Jack for now. She went through the motions of recruiting Zaeed, and helping Mordin. And still she was too late.

Weeks ago Aria had said of Archangel's death. Shepard still went down to the battle ground hoping that maybe this time it was a different man, maybe just maybe it wouldn't be Garrus.

She never expected it to be ten times worse when she found his body this time. She should have considering all the facts. He died more recently, and his body had not set out against the rodents and environment of Omega long enough.

His body was mutilated by bullet holes and knife wounds. And, if she thought the body looked pulled apart before, it looked ripped at the joints this time. Muscle, tendons and ligaments all stretched to their limits and hanging from the openings where his body had been separated into parts. His spine and skull still holding tissue onto the bones, clinging to it as if trying to live again. His eyes were gouged, dried and hanging from where they once were.

The bile in her stomach boiled and the more she looked, the worse it became. This was Garrus, they did this to him. Anger turned her vision as red as the ground was blue. Then, Mordin spoke.

“All bullet and knife wounds postmortem. Interesting. Appears possible mercenaries pulled turian apart while still alive.”

She threw up. Anger was replaced by horror. Garrus, the man that watched her back in their trek against Saren, young and willing to learn. Only to die in this manner.

It was her fault, she was too late again.

She willingly let her body succumb to the blackness that filled her vision.


	3. Chapter 3

On Shepard's third chance she got her Spectre status and went straight to Omega. 

She was filled with adrenaline and hoping Aria would hurry up and finish talking. The faster this was over with the better. 

This time when she cured the plague there were less victims, but more enemies. Blue Sun turians were still alive and fighting, despite having the plague. Her team fought through them all and got to the safety of Mordin's clinic. 

Mordin, however, had not developed his cure yet. Around the second day of waiting she got antsy. She didn't know when exactly Garrus had been killed the previous two times, and she didn't want to take too many chances either. That was why she was after Mordin first in case Garrus had any bad injuries. 

Once the cure was finished she rushed into the mass of vorcha using a heavy weapon to take them down. In, out, clean and done. She wasted no more time then necessary. 

Back at afterlife the news from Aria was much better. They were recruiting freelancers to go after Archangel. It was easy to get in, and this time they got a free ride to Garrus' base.   
Out of the skycar Shepard was speaking to their batarian chauffeur when a high-pitched scream rang through the boulevard. 

She didn't even excuse herself pulling out her shotgun and killing anyone stupid enough to get in her way. She ran harder than she ever remembered running before, straining the muscles in her leg, and almost tripping once in her haste. 

Shepard was too late again.

Garrus' limbs were in the hands of four different krogan, and his head and torso were in the grasp of one that could only be their leader. He had already started to rip the head from her friend's torso when he got a shotgun to the gut.

Shepard saw red, and only the blood of Garrus added any other color to her vision. Krogan charged her only to die before they got a chance to blink. Salarians ran as she roared in fury, and turians stared at her until she picked up a knife off the ground and started slicing their throats in a scarily precise manner.

They would all die, every single one of them.

When the gunship came in sight Shepard didn't even hesitate to pull out her grenade launcher. It went down so fast the other mercs left on the field were killed in its shrapnel as it hit the ground.

There was none left, mercenaries lay dead or dying on the ground. It was still not enough.

She looked at Garrus, his body covered in the blood of his killers and fell to her knees near him. She touched his face, still warm with a look of pain she would never forget. She closed his eyes before breaking down in tears.

She cried until Jacob and Zaeed pulled her away from the body. She didn't register threatening to kill them. She didn't even know how they got there, or when.

Shepard vaguely heard Miranda tell Mordin to sedate her, and how large a dose to use.

As she slipped into blissful oblivion, she only hoped this was not her last chance to rectify this. Garrus deserved so much better.


	4. Chapter 4

The last time she woke on the Normandy with the date reset, Shepard almost pondered changing course to Omega. However, her better judgment said she needed her Spectre status first – just in case.

This time once she was on Omega she took deep breaths before going through the motions of recruiting Zaeed and talking to Aria. She would remain calm, it was the only way to make sure she went into this with a clear head. “Garrus is still alive,” she repeated to herself.

She spoke to the mercenary leaders and wanted to shoot the one called Garm right then and there. He was the one that held Garrus ripping his head from his torso in her previous visit here. She had killed him then, she would probably kill him again. Just not now.

The mech friend or foe programming was hacked, and Cathka was incapacitated. It was just a matter of getting Garrus and getting out of there.

If only it was that easy.

Three hours and a missile to Garrus' face later, Shepard had the pedal to the skycar she was driving pushed as far down as she could. Garrus was in the back seat being tended to by Jacob, while Zaeed was in the passenger seat complaining about how she punched him after he said Garrus wasn't going to make it.

“What did you expect? You said Garrus was going to die before even giving him a chance.” She dodged a cab that was in her way. “Garrus is strong. He will live!”

“Not if you don't stop driving like a goddamn maniac.” The mercenary grabbed onto his seat as she took a turn a lot sharper then was probably safe.

When they got back to the Normandy Shepard picked Garrus up herself, took him though the airlock and up to Dr. Chakwas. After a bit of yelling and helping tear Garrus' armor off, Shepard finally left the doctor and Miranda to their work.

She slept that night, but only in hope that maybe she could prevent Garrus from being scarred. But fate had run its course.

Seeing him walking and alive was good enough for her. She asked him questions, hoping to get to know him again. Two years was a long time.

Hearing that Sidonis was the one that betrayed him shocked her, but she hid it. Later on, she would prevent Garrus from killing the other turian.

Some days she would wonder if he was really alive and on the Normandy with her. On those days, she wished she could find a way to be closer to him and find out. It was when Garrus told the story about the recon scout from his past that she snatched an opportunity to do just that.

She would later make sure to clarify to him that it wasn't just about sex. And she let him know it was about trust for her, even offered him a way to back out if he wanted.

Now, here she was lying at the foot of her bed, her legs wrapped around his waist as he stood between them and answered her question about how turians used straws to drink from. Until now she really hadn't been that curious about it really. But, when he pulled a nipple between the top of his mouth and his tongue and introduced that lovely suction, it was the first thing that came to mind.

When he brought out his tongue to run along the teased peak she sighed contently. He may not have watched the vids, but he definitely did his research. His tongue lavished her breast before he moved it up toward her clavicle and neck. He seemed content to take this slow, and she would let him.

When he reached her ear he asked, “Are you here, are you really alive, or have I died?”

She didn't mean to stiffen like she did when he said it, but damn if she didn't know the answer. “That's what I've been wondering myself about you.”

He pulled back and looked down at her curiously. “Why?”

She began her story of how she found him, how she really found him. She told him about how the days had reset, and how she couldn't just let him die. She even told him about how she wasn't sure what was real anymore, and how she needed to know.

Garrus tilted his head, then came to a decision before placing his forehead against hers. “Let's find out together Shepard.” 

She pulled his face down and kissed him softly on his plated mouth. Unsure how well he would feel it, she was surprised when he shuddered and pressed his mouth back against hers. The kiss was soft and lingered even after it broke.

It was then he began to worship her with his tongue again, adding a hand to his caresses. 

She returned in kind roaming her hands along his cowl, over his neck, near his fringe, and over his crest. With soft sighs, and moans she encouraged his exploration until she couldn't wait anymore. Time was running out, and she needed to know. She needed him. “Garrus, please let me know.”

He entered her slowly, moved within her slowly, and all around caressed her with his movements. Their bodies melded together and moved together as one. Neither was worried about orgasm, just the feel of the other around and within.

They were alive.


End file.
